We will be combining days 18 and 19 of The Challenge
into one post on Colossians 3:18-19.

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Wives, submit yourselves unto your
own husbands, as it is fit in the Lord.

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As a husband, it is very humbling to have a wife who is willing to submit.Not exactly the most popular statement for a man (let alone a single man like Paul) to make. This verse is a strong contender for the most criticized verse in the entire Bible. If you find yourself reacting, take a deep breath. Let’s take a fresh look at what is being said.

Did you know that the first time this word “submit” was used in Scripture it was used to describe Jesus? He was only twelve years old and had been teaching in the temple. His parents, unsure of his whereabouts, began searching the city. When they finally found him, they rebuked him for running away. Jesus tried to explain his situation, but was misunderstood. Luke 2:51 says, “And he went down with them, and came to Nazareth, and was subject unto them.” Misunderstood, unappreciated, yet willing to submit. The outcome? The very next verse says, “And Jesus increased in wisdom and stature, and in favour with God and man.”

As a husband, it is very humbling to have a wife who is willing to submit. If I was going to be really honest, I would probably describe it as scary. Scary because there is an increased responsibility when you know that the direction you give will be followed. Starting with her parents, Amanda made submitting a habit in her life. As a result, our relationship is not one of striving or arguing; I am forced into leading because she has learned the art of submitting. But it’s more than just her actions that are humbling; she has learned the harder part of submitting in attitude.

Her practice of submitting has resulted in her being blessed with wisdom, stature, and favor.Does she just follow without letting me know how she’s really feeling? Yes. She has such a firm confidence in God that if she doesn’t agree with a decision I have made, she takes her problem to Him and asks Him to speak to me about it. If I didn’t ask her, I would rarely know how she really felt about the decisions I make. And that’s why I love asking! I love that girl and I want to know how she feels about our decisions. I want to know what she thinks we should do before I make a decision. Like Jesus, her practice of submitting has resulted in her being blessed with wisdom, stature, and favor – I love hearing her heart on the issues and decisions we face and I need the advantage of the wisdom, stature, and favor God has given her. And yet when it comes down to it, she makes sure I know that the decision is still mine to make and as long as I’m not asking her to do anything wrong, she will follow my lead.

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Husbands, love your wives, and be not bitter against them.

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Learning true love is a habit that has to be developed and maintained.Why would God need to tell husbands to love and not be bitter at their wife? Because, like submission, love is not natural. It is not hard to focus on your wife. What is hard is learning to focus on her with her best interests in mind. Anything less is simply idolatry. Learning true love is a habit that has to be developed and maintained. I could start making a lot of decisions without ever considering how it affects my wife, but 1 Corinthians 13 describes love as being kind and not self-serving. Ephesians 5:25 tells husbands to love their wives as Christ loved the church and gave Himself for her. When did Christ give his life for the church? Christ gave his life for the church before the church even existed!

Why would a husband be bitter at his wife? If a husband makes an idol of his wife (focusing on her without love), he will soon discover that she cannot live up to his expectations. When she fails to meet his expectations, he begins to write her off. His disillusionment with her will soon result in her disillusionment with him. Add a few stressful situations, a further lack of love, a wife trying to reclaim her place as an idol and you have the perfect recipe for a man that resents his wife.

A final thought – notice that there is not an “if” to be found in either of these verses. We all have a responsibility to learn submission and love and our responsibility is not dependant on the actions of anyone else. Don’t forget the verse that came just before this passage – do all in the Andy and Amandaname of the Lord Jesus Christ. It is only His strength and His life living in you that will allow you to lay down your life and to learn submission. He alone can do it. May His life abound in you as you cultivate the habit of laying down your life. May His Spirit fill you as you enter into His submission and His love.

~ Andy and Amanda Warner

P.S. The amazing story of Andy and Amanda’s courtship was highlighted on livingthejourney.com last year in the article A Story of True Love.

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This entry was posted on Monday, January 18th, 2010 at 6:00 am and is filed under Memorization Challenge. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.